the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
