i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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