I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think my fart just growled at me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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