I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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