I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize