someone get that fucking seahorse.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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