when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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