If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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