ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
