I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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