I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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