That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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