Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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