I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
this will be a night to untag.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
