Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control

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(804): View more from Virginia

please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?

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(303): View more from Colorado

You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.

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(831): View more from California

She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?

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(219): View more from Indiana

I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it

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