I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
