Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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