I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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