it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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