You're so nebulous sometimes
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
