okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
