Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
