you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize