I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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