a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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