i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
