He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
why do cheetos always look like penises
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize