I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
