Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
