I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
