if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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