Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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