drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
