Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
