I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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