so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
