Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
