He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
