she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
