My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize