part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
