What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
