dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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