He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Where is the hickey?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
