I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
