this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
