new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
