Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
