So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
