Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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