He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
