So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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