I will die if light touches me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
