the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
