And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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