OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
