there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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