from now on my penis is your penis
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
