We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize