I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
