so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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