i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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