hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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