I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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