Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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