in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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