Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize